Dear Heavenly Father,
On my knees, I am sending up the weakest of prayers to you. You’ve seen how I’ve been leading my life as of late. You’ve seen the backsliding — my willingness to step off your path and walk any direction away from your side. Why is this befalling me now … at a time when I am also so convicted in my beliefs. I see so clearly what is light and what is darkness, what is good and what is evil. But even that is confusing at times. My eagerness to spread your gospel makes me feel overzealous. Am I Pharisee, Lord, or am I one of your strongest believers? Is everyone around me weak? Is my zeal off-putting? I only want you to shine through my words. I only want you and you crucified to come out in the thoughts I share. I struggle with losing followers for preaching the truth, and yet I don’t struggle with your truth being preached. Am I becoming a mature believer in that my strength is overwhelming to some? These conflicts inside me are humbling, Lord, and as I release this prayer to you on your holy throne, I feel your hand at work in my failures. Maybe you are strengthening my prayers after all.
In Jesus’ name, Amen.