Big Boys use their Spoons
Saturday, January 24th, 2009
“Big boys use their spoons.”
I say this in all seriousness and leave the room.
My son is at the table in Sunday clothes.
He’s wearing a hat turned backwards, a plaid dress shirt and work gloves.
I have singled him out for not using cutlery
When so much more is wrong.
I don’t know if he’s followed my directions or not.
I’ll look in on him in another minute
and tell him to take off his hat and gloves.
He’ll think I am being hard on him because he’s the only boy
Or because that’s how fathers can be to sons
(a way his dad has learned from his own father).
Discipline for certain improprieties and poor manners at the table
Could set it all into motion.
Another generation given up on the one before.
Another generation placing importance on minutiae.
I act as though his using a spoon or being courteous makes him a better man
When I know those abilities are only polishing.
His soul is good.
His character is strong
And will be the rest of his life.
I will enforce the rules.
The spoon will be lifted.
The hat will come off – and so will the gloves.
The world will not be upset
Because my boy chooses to pick marshmallows from his bowl,
Line them straight on the wood grain
And smile broad, all teeth, a way I never could around my father.
