Sweet Alyssa
Tuesday, November 11th, 2008
Too bad that Alyssa Milano can’t go on tour. I’d pay big time money to see her in a live stage performance of Who’s the Boss? or maybe even Commando as long as she wore the overalls. She was, after all, the subject of my first love letter (my mom snapped a photo of me in a Hawaiian shirt and matching shorts that were all the rage in 1987), my first kiss (it happened in a dream that involved a rollercoaster ride and deep conversation), and then again my first brush with unrequited love (she never responded to my letter.)
ASIDE: Actually, she tied with Heather Guth as the first star-crossed crush. Heather wanted to pursue things further than I wanted to take them in fifth grade. I wasn’t ready for such a forward public display as holding hands. I understand now that it had more to do with commitment than fear. Who wants to take themselves off the market with such authority at THAT age?
I could write Alyssa something much more beautiful now. I could veil my emotions in poeticism, be less forward, promise little and pique her interests. Probably most important, I’d leave out the photo. I’ve moved on, though. I know she has. And, given the great distance that time can create between emotion and reality, I see now that her beauty and talent could bested by the woman I am married to, many of the women I work with and a few seen in random places. Alyssa, like so many other Hollywood starlets, benefited from both timing and luck. Those factors are often more important than ability or persuasion.
Alyssa could be considered the male equivalent to New Kids on the Block, who will perform at the Sprint Center tonight. Corporate office buildings across the metro were alive today with chatter as female fans of all persuasions opened up about their infatuations with these former heartthrobs. To the ladies’ credit, they have kept their opinions of these gentleman returning to the stage amongst themselves this time, much more so than the New Kids craze that swept the nation in the early 90s.
The New Kids fans have also been surprisingly level-headed. They’ll admit, for example, that the guys are out of shape, were never that talented and that their new material can’t hold a candle to the stuff they churned out with bubble gum assembly line-like perfection in their heyday. And yet, the ladies are paying the steep ticket prices to see the show. Like me, they know better, but it’s hard to let go because, after all, these crushes are more about you and what you learned from them than it ever was about the idols.
These celebrities tap our imaginations that we tend to lose as we grow older and possibility narrows. We see people with real talent who don’t use it or don’t make it and come to realize that New Kids banded around the concept of making money – and the individual members probably knew somebody who knew somebody.
I don’t recall what Alyssa wore in my dream – the view granted me was neck up. I assume her wardrobe was pieced together from items I’d seen her wear in various Bop magazine photo spreads. I hope, for her sake, that she was lovely. Respect for her acting ability has waned more than likely as the footage of her “awkward stage” is replayed around the world hundreds of times a day in various languages.
In a metaphorical sense, reruns are the photo she’d probably leave out of her love letter envelope if she ever sent me a reply. But she needn’t bother. What would a writer be without unrequited love?
