When I announced on Facebook that I would be re-entering the blogosphere, I mentioned I would feature an occasional blog post from my previous site or excerpt from my private journals. I’ve since found most of my blog entries have been lost. But nevertheless, there is one post that I held onto. As promised, here’s a “flashback” blog post carried over from the days when I was recently divorced. I was in a bad place when I wrote this, sometime in 2011. I was coming to grips with my new living situation and the loneliness of not being with my children everyday. I have come a long way since then. Enjoy this blog post for what’s worth – a piece of writing from a dark time that I somehow managed to escape.
Forgotten for the afternoon and likely the day, the girls sit in swings dangling legs as dark as the shadows they cast. One holds herself in the A-shaped frame, grasping the metal bars and craning her neck and head like a zoo animal to make the others laugh. Their skin is black in the overcasted clouds and their hair is somehow blacker and wild, the girls like silhouettes, their outlines yelling to each other though they are only a few feet away, screaming for today, maybe using up all the little girl before a few years now when they are forced to become women before other girls in other neighborhoods. No parents to protect them or guide their hands, they play unnoticed most days behind the apartment complexes without even a face or slightest glance from someone checking on them. And yet, they’re safe and happy, and they’ll be that way all day unless it rains.
Almost four years have passed since I went into relative seclusion as a writer. Some of you probably remember that shortly after my divorce, I took my blog down and retreated to the safety of my Spiderman spiral notebook. I wasn’t comfortable with making available to the world the level of personal writing I was composing at that time. But given some recent developments in my life, I’ve decided to step out of the shadows once again and post as frequently as I can here. Obviously a great deal has changed for the better since 2010 – I’ve rediscovered myself, deepened my relationships with my children, and met a few angels along the way who’ve helped shape me into a better man. My hope is that you will visit the site from time to time to see what I’m up to – and how I’m developing in my ability to arrange these little black squiggles against a white background. Every day is a fresh page, right? And the amount of available space on the internet is endless. I’m hoping to fill a portion of it with the same sort of honesty you might remember – and words as beautiful and accurate as I can manage them.